Walking a Fine Line

I haven't talked much about Evelyn's father, and my soon to be ex-husband Rick lately. There is a reason for that. About two months ago Rick made the decision he didn't want to be involved with Evelyn at all. I won't go into details, but he had his reasons.

Recently, it appears Rick has had a change of heart. The other day I was talking to my friend Eric about it because I'm very confused about how to handle this situation. Part of me wants to tell Rick no, you can't see her because all you're going to do is change your mind about it in two week, or months or whatever. Which honestly, is already beginning to prove true. We had tried to arrange time for him to come see her this week but it seems he's not going to come through on that thought.

I tried to explain to Eric, it's hard for me to tell him no, he can't see her even when he doesn't deserve to because I don't want to be the one keeping her from him. I've watched fathers have their children pulled from them and kept from them and it kills me to think of anyone ever thinking of me the way I think of those girls.

I know Evelyn needs a father. I know she needs to know Rick and spend time with him, but how am I suppose to be a good mother and protect her from his indecisive and erratic moods. It's a fine line I'm walking, trying to provide her with both; her father and protecting her from the things that will let her down.

I don't know how much longer I can walk it.