Clarity

The date is fast approaching. I found a piggy bank, painted it red white and blue and named him Clarity. Once he reaches $300 I'll officially file for my divorce against Rick. The ghost of the past relationship has been left behind to linger in the floor boards of other homes. My heart has let go. My heart has moved on. I realized I was completely over it the day I finally got rid of my engagement ring. That was my stepping stone, that moment of no return. And I must say, I'm happy.

I love living on my own, just Evelyn and me. I love watching her grow and learn. How she cackles and runs and plays. The child is so goofy. It's hard to not be completely mesmerized by her. And that is all that I am left with when it comes to Rick. Sadness that he is choosing to miss out on her. His loss. Pity because he's never going to be more than he is, because he chooses not to be. I've fought my way here... and he won't take that from me.

He refused me my one request. The truth. Closure. So I got the facts, and I saw him for the kind of man he really is, I set him straight, and I stole my own closure. And now I'm done. And that is one of the most refreshing feelings in the world.

And not a moment to late. Because I know what I want. Because I know what I deserve. And I've already seen the possibilities that lay before me...

Needless to say. I'm a happy girl. I'm a whole girl. And all the things he told me: he'd break me, he'd make me hate him, he'd make me regret everything that ever happened between us: he was wrong.

I'm not that kind of girl, who clings to the past and braces it to myself like a shield, an excuse to avoid the good things in life. I'm not the kind of person to hold grudges.

And so, I make this my official last Rick Scotton related entry. Maybe more so for his benefit than mine (since he cyber stalks my blog). I don't wish bad on him, I don't wish anything at all.

Like the song goes, "I'm not sorry I met you, I'm not sorry it's over, I'm not sorry there's nothing to say."