Outside the Ordinary World

About two months ago I was walking around a local bookstore with one of my best friends, desperately trying to find a new novel to perk up my old passion for reading. I ended up leaving the store with two, one titled Dismantled, I handed over immediately to my sister-in-law Kasey. The other I set aside for myself to read whenever I finally found the time.

For weeks now I've been picking at the pages, reading a chapter here, a chapter there. This past week however I have found myself completely engrossed in the storyline.

I originally picked up the book due to my own interest in marital affairs. A very close friend of mine, who I have known was unhappy in his marriage, had previously confessed to me how he had been lingering on the edge of inappropriate behavior with an old girlfriend from high school. He was struggling with the idea of entering into a physical affair for many of the obvious reasons.

I'm almost ashamed to admit the amount of inspiration I received from this conversation, intrigued how he clasped his hands together as he spoke about a "momentary fix to a larger problem." I immediately came home and wrote the for the first time in years. The poem, Married Men, came naturally. But something about the form didn't feel right to me. I decided to attempt it as a short story instead but was having no luck with any aspects of the story other than dialogue. 

That is why finding this book on that particular day was such an incredible find. I knew it would help lead my inspiration to the proper place.

I was surprised to find that I connected so quickly with the main character, both in childhood and adult life. The story goes back and forth between 1970's and early 2000's describing both her mothers affair and the affair that I imagine she is about to begin (as far as I am in the book it's still developing).

I've never had an affair. Honestly, it's not like I would have really had time. Rick and I separated only 6 months into our marriage. As far as I knew the Honeymoon phase was still in effect, but shadowed by new-parent syndrome. But following her decent, I can see the seduction of something new and fresh.

It has me questioning my belief in marriage, because eventually... doesn't the passion run out. And then the only thing left holding people together is mutual loyalty and respect. I admire those who can maintain that while changing individually.

I recently had an ex-boyfriend of mine remind me that I had always sworn I wouldn't get married, that it was not even a feasible option to me. "What changed" he asked, his eyes wide with wonder?

I considered the question... and responded with, "he was very convincing." Part of me wonders if I should have responded with, "I'm a gullible girl who thought forever meant more than a year." I can be so stupid sometimes.

My point though. I am really enjoying the book, and I think women everywhere should read it. To see how different roads can lead you down different paths, and how easy it is to lose your way. I'll keep you posted when I am done with it, to let you know how I like the ending. Till then.