Todays post is brought to you by the letter D:

Dear Dim-witted Douchebag,
I realize that is may seem like I am walking around with a "Fuck Me" sign on my back. Despite my attempts to remove the sign, cross it out with magic marker and continue on it just seems to be there, obvious to every male in a 50 mile radius. I am, however, quite positive that there is nothing on that sign that insinuates that I will, in fact, have sex with you, or that sex with me is something you can buy. I understand it might be hard for you to believe, but not everyone can be bought... even if it is for only 30 minutes. Please remove your foot from your mouth so you can walk swiftly away with your three inch tail between your legs.
Sincerly,
You have got to be kidding me.

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Dear DBBMF,
Stop ruining this for me. Seriously, stop taking the things that make this whole experience worth while away. It's bumming me out.
Yours Truly,
The Silent One in the Corner.

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Dear  Douche-lord,
Please, stop being an epic douche-lord. It pains me to use such a title for you when I know the deepness of your disdain for the man who was the initial inspiration for such a characterization. It's unappealing, and exhausting, and just time consuming. Stop trying to play mind games. I don't know if you realized it but I haven't been playing back in awhile so you look kind of stupid sitting there playing with yourself.
Sincerely,
Not Budging...

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Dear Dork,
Thank GOD you stopped making things weird. I like this so much better.
Sincerely,
The Sweetest Red Head You Know ;)

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Dear McDreamy,
Circumstance sucks. And I hate missed opportunities almost as much as I hate the thought of Sunday. I love being random with you. Thank you for helping remember what it feels like to be me. I am sincerely and genuinely going to miss you more than I think either of us realize.
With A Lot of Heart,
The giggle queen of your dreams ;)

In case you were wondering

Dear Wizard of Oz,

Just how many broken hearts do you have in that bag...
It might be broken, torn and completely mangled but it would be swell if you gave me mine back.
Thanks....

The Girl That Sees Through the Curtain.

Dear Dear Dear....

Dear Dreams,
Please stop entertaining my desire for a three-way with Cappie and Evan.
It's just plain mean.
Sincerely,
Sleep Deprived

Dear Creeper,
Yeah, I know you're reading this.
And yeah, I know you're cyber stalking me...
Truthfully,
Don't.Really.Care.
Thoughtfully,
Hope It Gives You Hell...

Dear Mr. I-want-to-have-my-cake-and-eat-it-to,
I've decided to bow out gracefully, because no matter how much you may want me you seem to be pretty smitten with the other side of the equation.
I wish you happiness, and I wish you luck.
The only thing I ask, is think of me fondly if you think of me at all...
Lovingly,
The One That Got Away... twice ;)

Dear 26,
Please be kinder than 25 and I promise,
I'll buy you a pony.
Love,
Seriously... is it really almost that time again?